Living Expenses
2 Thess 3:12 - "Earn their own living"
www.rlfaber.com/livingexpenses.html
Feb, 1, 2026

Purpose

The purpose of this article is to help young adults go from living at home for free to earning their own living as the Bible teaches. 2 Thessalonians 3 and many other Bible passages show mature Christianity as those who are generous, providing for others and certainly providing for one's own living. We want to teach obedience to the Bible's instruction so that we are imiating Paul when he says, "And let our people learn to devote themselves to good works, so as to help cases of urgent need, and not be unfruitful." (Titus 3:14)


Introduction

Our starting point is 2 Thessalonians 3:12, which says, "Now such persons we command and encourage in the Lord Jesus Christ to do their own work quietly and earn their own living." When we are children, we think like children and reason like children, but when we become adults, we give up on childish ways (1 Cor 13:11).

According to AI, a lean cost of living for an individual in the USA, assuming rent with roommates, utilities, food, transportation, medical and miscellaneous is about $1830 to $2500, with $2100 being a very realistic starting point.


Part 1: The Financial Baseline

For 2026, the average cost of living for a single individual in the United States generally ranges between $2,000 and $4,000 per month. While the higher end of that scale represents full independence-including private housing, comprehensive insurance, and a robust savings rate-the lower end represents a "lean survival" model. In this lean model, every dollar must be managed with extreme discipline to cover the essentials of housing, food, and transportation. Understanding these numbers is the first step in moving from a dependent mindset to an independent one, as it reveals the "burn rate" required just to maintain a basic standard of existence in the modern economy.

To help build your financial foundation, we will target a practice budget of $2,000. While this is on the lower end of the national average, it serves as the perfect "entry-level" commitment for practicing adult financial habits. By mastering a $2,000 monthly outlay within a safe environment, you develop the muscle memory needed to prioritize fixed costs over discretionary spending. The following breakdown illustrates exactly where that money goes in a typical single-person household, providing a clear map of the expenses you will eventually face when you move out on your own.

The Breakdown: Where does the money go?

Category Household(4)   Share (1/3)
Housing Asset Usage   $1400 $467
Fixed Propert Costs   $450 $150
Utilities $500 $167
Meal Plan $960 $320
Transportation $900 $300
Medical $504 $168
Personal & Misc$120 $40
Giving $483 $161
Savings/Emergency$150 $50
TOTAL $5,467 $1823

By maintaining a lean monthly operating cost for four adults, this household budget demonstrates that disciplined living can provide both living expenses and generosity. While personal expenses are kept to a strict minimum and housing costs are optimized through prior investment, the budget deliberately prioritizes avoiding debt, living within your means and a 10% giving category. This teaches young adults that financial maturity is not just about covering one's own "needs," but about managing resources to ensure long-term health and the ability to support others. Even under this optimized model, the individual cost of living is approximately $1,820 per month.

The Budget Logic: A Summary of Costs
The monthly budget for a single adult in this household is structured as a "fully burdened" model, meaning it includes every cost necessary to remain healthy, mobile, and responsible. The foundation of the budget is the housing asset usage 1.housingasset, which accounts for the opportunity cost of the family's primary retirement investment. This is followed by fixed property costs (taxes and insurance) and utilities (heat, electricity, water, and internet), which represent the baseline "burn rate" of the structure itself. The meal plan reflects a highly efficient, managed grocery strategy that relies on domestic labor to avoid the 40-60% markup of retail prepared food. Transportation and medical categories are "sinking funds" that account for the inevitable costs of vehicle replacement and healthcare emergencies. Finally, the personal, giving, and savings categories ensure that the individual is practicing the habits of a well-rounded citizen-balancing personal needs with community stewardship and long-term financial safety.


Part 2: "What If's" and Possible Alternatives

The Reality of Living on Your Own

While staying in a managed, mortgage-free home provides a "Safety Nest," it is important to understand the "What If" of moving out today. For most young adults, the realistic alternative is renting an apartment, either alone or with roommates. This path introduces a set of financial hurdles that aren't always visible from the kitchen table.

1. The "Hidden" Costs (The "Gotchas")
Most young adults calculate the "Happy Path": Rent + Car + Pizza. However, the "Gotchas" are the irregular expenses that destroy a standard budget.

The "Move-In" Cliff: First month’s rent + Last month's rent + Security Deposit. In 2026, you likely need $5,000 cash upfront just to get the keys.

The Utility Burden: Without a "Home Manager," you are responsible for setup fees and deposits for electricity, water, and internet-often $300+ before the first light switch is flipped.

Car Registration & Maintenance: A $500 set of tires or a $300 annual registration fee can wreck a tight monthly budget if you haven't been "sinking" money into a maintenance fund.

Household Startup: A vacuum, pots/pans, towels, and a mattress can easily cost $1,500+ when starting from scratch.


2. Income vs. Reality (The Salary Calculator)

To afford even a frugal $4,000/month lifestyle without drowning in debt, a young adult needs to earn roughly $60,000 - $65,000 per year (pre-tax).

The Math of the Paycheck:

Gross Pay: $5,000 /month

Taxes (Fed/State/FICA): ~ $1,000 /month (20% - 25% is the standard "tax bite")

Net Take-Home: $4,000 /month

Teaching Activity: The 25% Reality Check
Ask yourself: "What do I expect to earn in my first year?"

  1. Take that annual number (e.g., $45,000).
  2. Divide by 12 ($3,750).
  3. Subtract 25% for taxes (Leaves you with $2,812).
  4. Subtract the average local rent for a 1-bedroom or studio ($1,800).
  5. The Result: You have $1,012 left for the entire month.

That $1,012 must cover your car, gas, phone, insurance, food, and fun. That is roughly $33 a day. If you buy a $15 lunch and a $5 coffee, you've spent 60% of your daily survival budget before 2:00 PM.

3. The "Building Business" Perspective on Alternatives

As someone who builds for a living, I look at an apartment as a "leaky bucket." You pour $1,800 into it every month, and you never see that money again. In our Training Plan, you pay $2,000, but because of our "Mortgage-Free/Sweat Equity" advantage, you get $1,600 back.

Apartment "What If": You lose $1,800/mo.

Family Home "What If": You "lose" $400/mo, and save $1,600/mo for your future house.

Transitioning from a managed household to independent living requires a move from "gross" to "net" thinking. While a $45,000 salary feels like a significant milestone, the "What If" of living on one's own reveals a stark reality: after taxes and the "Entry Costs" of a rental, the remaining daily allowance for food and mobility is razor-thin. By simulating these costs through a $2,000 training budget, the young adult learns to navigate the "Gotchas" of adulthood-such as car maintenance and utility deposits-within a safe environment. This exercise proves that the family home is not just a place to sleep, but a high-efficiency financial engine that allows an individual to bypass the "Leaky Bucket" phase of renting and instead build the capital necessary for true, long-term asset ownership.


The Transition Plan

To help young adults transition toward financial maturity while living at home, it is helpful to shift from a parental "collector" role to that of a neutral household accountant. The frustration often stems from a perspective gap where they view any contribution as a loss of personal freedom rather than a massive subsidy of their actual living costs. By implementing a "Refundable Rent" system, you can simulate the weight of a $2,000 monthly expense while gently returning 80% of it as a "Life Scholarship" to cover their personal needs and savings.

As they become more established and budget-aware, you can systematically reduce that refund to 50% and eventually 0%, mirroring the way real-world subsidies disappear. To avoid the emotional friction of explaining every individual utility or grocery bill, you can present a monthly "Household Statement" that shows the actual $5,000 cost of running the home divided by the contributing adults. This makes the invisible costs of electricity, insurance, and housing asset usage visible and proves that your request is not about "fairness" or profit, but about preventing the financial shock they would otherwise face when moving out into an economy where their current lifestyle truly costs thousands of dollars more than they realize.


The Financial Framework: Training for Independence

To prepare for life on your own, we utilize a monthly practice payment designed to build the "muscle memory " of prioritizing the most important bills first. While this payment simulates a standard entry-level cost of living, a portion of it is returned to you to cover your personal expenses—such as gas, car maintenance, and phone—and to help you aggressively build your own savings. This framework allows you to feel the full weight of an adult commitment while ensuring you have the liquid cash necessary to stay out of debt and prepare for the high "move-in" costs of a future apartment.

By comparing your net contribution to the actual individual share 1.housingasset of our highly efficient household, the conversation shifts from "paying rent" to "acknowledging a subsidy." This makes the invisible costs of property taxes, managed groceries, and housing asset usage visible. It demonstrates that you aren't just paying for a room; you are participating in a system where the family provides a significant monthly gift in unpaid expenses. This support is designed to give you a financial head start while you have the advantage of a managed, mortgage-free home.


Part 3: Monthly Household Statement

The monthly household statement serves as a transparent audit of our shared economy, establishing that the actual value of your current lifestyle-accounting for the housing asset usage 1, fixed property taxes, utilities, and a managed meal plan-is approximately $1,823 per month. To simulate the financial weight of independence, you will provide a $2,000 practice payment on the first of each month. From this, a designated portion is returned to your account to cover personal mobility and to build your savings. The difference between your net contribution and the $1,823 share is our Parental Grant to you-a direct monthly subsidy designed to help you front-load your wealth and avoid the "leaky bucket" of high-market rent while you are under our roof.

To ensure this transition is successful, we maintain a shared oversight model. This includes a dedicated bank account where I maintain administrative access to verify that funds are allocated correctly toward your "Four Walls" and long-term savings. We will track these contributions, budget progress, and bank balances in a master spreadsheet, which will be reviewed together during Saturday morning audits. These sessions, held as schedules permit, ensure the budget is maintained at a monthly level and provide a consistent forum for refining your financial strategy. This administrative partnership is a temporary but necessary requirement of the transition process, ensuring you have the guidance and accountability needed to move toward full independence with a proven track record of success.


FOOTNOTES

1.housing asset usage

On Housing Asset Usage ($467/mo per person) This figure represents a highly subsidized "Usage Fee" based on the following three pillars:

  • The Retirement Dividend: This home is about half of our retirement portfolio. By living here, you are utilizing the "interest" that would otherwise support us in our later years.
  • The Stored Labor Principle: Equity is simply "stored labor." This house exists mortgage-free because years of physical construction labor and income were "front-loaded" into these walls.
  • The Opportunity Cost: This reflects the "Fair Market Rent" we forgo by not leasing this space to the public. It is a reminder that living in a high-value asset carries a real-world cost, regardless of whether a bank is involved.

1. The "Retirement Dividend" Perspective (The Financial Argument)
"Imagine we didn't live here. We could sell this house today, put the money into an investment account, and it would pay us roughly $1,400 to $2,000 every month in interest. That money is meant to buy our groceries and pay our bills when we stop working. By choosing to live here and letting you stay here, we are 'spending' that interest instead of collecting it. You aren't just living in a 'free' room; you are living on the interest of our retirement fund. Your contribution helps ensure that our retirement portfolio stays healthy while you are benefiting from it."

2. The "Stored Labor" Perspective (The Building Business Argument)
"This house isn't just wood and stone; it is thousands of hours of my life and your mom's life. Every hour I spent building this home was an hour I couldn't spend earning a paycheck elsewhere. I 'front-loaded' my work years into these walls so we wouldn't have a mortgage today. When you live here for free, you are consuming the work I did ten, twenty and thirty years ago. 'Equity' is just another word for stored labor. We are charging a usage fee to teach you that someone always has to work for the roof over your head-either you work for it now, or I work for it decades in advance."

3. The "Opportunity Cost" Perspective (The Fair Market Argument)
"Even though there is no bank payment, the house still has a 'job' to do: it has to provide for our future. If we rented this space to a stranger, they would pay us market rent, which would go into our savings. By living here, you are taking that 'rental income' away from the family's future. We call this Opportunity Cost. The cost of you living here is the money we could have made by using this asset differently. We are giving you a massive discount, but we want you to see the real value of what you are 'borrowing' from the family estate."

The "Housing Asset Usage" fee is a critical educational component designed to illustrate that a mortgage-free status is not a state of zero cost, but rather the result of decades of diverted investment and physical labor. By front-loading retirement savings into the home's construction and equity rather than traditional financial vehicles, the property now functions as a primary retirement asset. Consequently, an adult child residing in the home is consuming the "interest" or potential rental income that would otherwise support the parents in their later years. Recognizing this "opportunity cost" teaches the next generation that equity is simply stored labor and that residing in a high-value asset carries a real-world financial weight. By contributing a usage fee, the young adult acknowledges the parental sacrifice involved and learns that true financial independence requires accounting for the value of the capital and labor invested in one's surroundings, regardless of whether a debt is owed to a bank.


2.mealplan

On The Managed Meal Plan ($320/mo per person) This low cost is only achievable through the Asset Management Labor of a full-time home manager. This rate assumes 90% of meals are prepared at home, bulk procurement strategies are utilized, and food waste is near zero. Without this management, this category could easily increase to $500+ per person.


4.training plan

On The Training Plan (The 50% or 80% Refund) While your "Fully Burdened" cost of living is $1,823, we are only requiring a percent net contribution (20%, 50%, etc). The amount returned to you is a "Parental Grant" intended to be managed wisely to help you aggressively pay off some of your debts and build your independent savings.

A Suggestion for the "Maturity Roadmap" As they get more comfortable with this, a great next step is to set milestones. For example:

Phase 1: 20% Charge (Learning the habit).

Phase 2: 40% Charge (Once they reach $5,000 in personal savings).

Phase 3: 60% Charge (Once they secure a career-track job).

These percentages will be worked out individually, based on age, maturity, and ability.






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